I’m invited to a colleague’s wedding this saturday. It’s the first time in more than 3 and a half years of life in Japan. The wedding ceremony will take place in a chapel a building looking like a chapel and dedicated to Western-style weddings. By the way, the building’s name, Saint Marry Church (hence the two “r” in Marry) evokes well its exclusive use.

Western-style wedding or not, there are inchangeable and typically Japanese rules to this kind of occasions. As a guest, I have to make a gift in the form of money to my colleague. This is called goshûgi ご祝儀 in Japanese. But, of course, it is out of question to hand it directly to my colleague. The bank notes must be inserted in an envelope on which I’ll have written my name, my address and the amount offered. This envelope is then inserted in another one (goshûgi-bukuro ご祝儀袋) made of Japanese paper and decorated with tied strings called mizuhiki 水引. You would think we’re finished with enveloping, right ? Well, no ! The custom is generally to wrap the goshûgi-bukuro in a cloth called fukusa 袱紗.

So, there’s still a question. How much to offer ? This is not something left to chance either. The amount of money offered is usually determined by your relation to the bride and groom and your social status. Besides, it is usually better to avoid pair numbers as they are divisible by two and thus symbolize a possible rupture. Friends or colleagues of equal or lesser rank would offer 30,000 Yen, a chief 50,000 Yen, parents between 50,000 and 100,000 Yen. In fact, the ornaments on the goshûgi-bukuro more or less reflect the amount to be offered.